I Don’t Just Plan Weddings. I Save Your Date Night from “The Third Wheel.”
Question: How do I prevent wedding planning from taking over my relationship before the big day?
Answer: The key is hiring a planner who acts as a “filter” rather than a “forwarder.” By managing the mental load and “decision fatigue” for you, your planner ensures that your date nights remain about romance, not shuttle bus deposits.
I’m Lucia Lazzaro, and I’ve been a wedding planner since 2012.
In that time, I’ve noticed a phenomenon.
A couple gets engaged, and suddenly, their relationship changes. It’s no longer just the two of them. A third entity moves in. It sits at the dinner table. It interrupts romantic walks. It wakes you up at 3:00 AM.
This “Third Wheel” is The Wedding.
And here is the truth that nobody tells you: This happens even if you hire a planner.
The “Friday Night” Test
Let me paint a picture. It’s Friday night. You are out for a lovely dinner. You have ordered a great bottle of wine. You look at your fiancé across the candlelight.
But instead of flirting, you ask:
“Did you see the email about the shuttle bus deposit?” His eyes glaze over. He sighs.
“Can we not talk about the bus right now?”
You feel a flash of irritation.
“Well, someone has to talk about it!”
Suddenly, the romance is gone.
You aren’t lovers; you are stressed business partners in a high-stakes merger.
Why “Help” Isn’t Always Helpful
You might think, “But we have a planner! Why are we stressed?”
Because not all planning is equal. There is a difference between a planner who forwards problems and a planner who filters them.
- If a planner sends you ten emails a day asking, “What do you want to do about X?”—that is still stress. That is still hyper-arousal. Your brain is still in “decision fatigue” mode.
- You are still carrying the mental load; you just have an assistant to type it up for you.
The Wedding Harmony Shield
My job is different.
I am not just an organizer; I am a Relationship Bodyguard.
My goal is to keep the “Third Wheel” away from your dinner table.
- I am the Filter: I don’t forward you the drama of the florist’s truck breaking down. I fix it, and then I tell you it’s handled. You don’t get the adrenaline spike.
- I am the Buffer: When family expectations get loud, I become the neutral professional who enforces the boundary, so you don’t have to fight with your mother-in-law.
The Ultimate Luxury:
Silence We talk about luxury as champagne and silk.
But for my high-achieving clients, the ultimate luxury is silence. It is the luxury of going weeks without worrying about the wedding. It is the luxury of arriving in Italy or Switzerland not as an exhausted project manager, but as a radiant partner.
I plan the logistics, yes. But really? I protect your peace. Because the best wedding gift you can give each other isn’t a perfect centerpiece. It’s walking down the aisle still liking each other.
Let’s keep the drama in the movies and the romance in your relationship.